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Tuesday, June 30, 2009

So I'm submitting a purchase order for a completely mundane office supply. I'm not in accounts or purchasing, so I don't typically deal with POs and the financial jargon, and I don't know how to buy things without using money I can actually hold. It's all foreign to me. So after the order is submitted, I get a call back from the accounts manager at aforementioned office supply company. Apparently their legal team is nitpicking at the language of our PO, which indicates that we have attached some documentation outlining terms and conditions (we have not). Accounts manager admits this is a pain in the butt, tries to back me up on this one, because there was some language printed at the bottom which would technically count as "terms and conditions". So then I ask him to kill the motor for a minute, because I've never even seen a PO before, let alone read it thoroughly. I search for the section of the document he's referring to, and read over the TERMS AND CONDITIONS of this purchase order:


"This certifies that no funds made available by [my company] for this purchase order/agreement/subcontract/subagent will be used for the following family planning and population assistance activates [sic]:

1) procurement or distribution of equipment provided for the purpose of inducing abortions as a method of family planning;

2) information, education, training, or communications that seek to promote abortion as a method of family planning;

3) payments to women in less developed countries to have abortions as a method of family planning;

4) payments to persons to perform abortions or to solicit persons to undergo abortions."



WHAT?!!@#$%^&*

I'M BUYING COMPUTER SOFTWARE!


Granted, we are a non-profit that receives tons of gifts from very generous donors and we wouldn't want to spend their money on things they do not deem appropriate. Of course. But really? Seriously?

I think tomorrow I'll submit a purchase order for crack cocaine. Or maybe an AK-47. I'm feeling dangerous this week. Who knows, I might requisition a stack of Uzbeki porn and a mail-order bride and go to town. The world is my oyster baby. Cuz I don't need an abortion!


Gee whiz.

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