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Wednesday, June 17, 2009

A woman at my job is pregnant, and boy, is she lovin' it.

She brought in fancy chocolates to break the news a few months ago, passed up a luxurious business trip to protect the little one, and decided to take an extra two months of maternity leave. You can tell by her glow, her smile, the way she bounds through the hallways grasping her precious cargo how insanely happy she is. It's a perfect set-up: healthy middle-aged woman, married, great job and two (two!) doctoral degrees. Slap a baby on top and you've got one hell of a parfait. And what a tender mom she'll be! Charged with office plant maintenance while some colleagues were away on business, I watched her clutch a vase of bamboo to her chest, walking steadily so as not to spill a drop of water and deprive the poor plant. Motherhood certainly agrees with her.

So then I thought: why aren't all pregnant ladies so pleasant to be around? Isn't pregnancy a miracle, a gift?

Behold: The Pregnancy Merriment Flowchart! *



* Not to be used for diagnostic purposes.

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