Feelings

I talk to women and girls almost everyday about their abortions. Sometimes the conversations are straight forward, appointment information, talking about pricing - inevitable funding issues. Often we discuss their feelings about the abortion.

I had to talk to a teenager today to make sure she is consenting to the abortion - her mom made the initial contact with us to figure out her appointment and funding. I asked the girl - or woman as she isn't a minor - if she wanted the abortion and had made the decision on her own. When I asked if she wanted the abortion, she kind of laughed and said, "Not really." She told me it wasn't that she wants to do it but that she needs to do it.

After we hung up, I thought about what she said. I wondered why I phrase the question that way and if there's a better way to put it. I personally think there is nothing wrong or shameful about abortion, but I don't know if I would want an abortion either or if I would just feel like I had to do it. I feel like this is an ok feeling. It's ok to not be excited but to know that it's the best decision you can make at that time.

I talked to another woman, an 18-year old who already has two young children and wants to go back to school. She told me that she feels bad about her decision but that she too needs to do it. I told her not to beat herself up, not to feel shame. She is making a difficult decision, based on what she wants for her future and her children's future. She is being responsible, knowing she can't adequately care for another child while also pursuing her education.

I just want to say that it's ok to not think abortion is super great and that everyone is going to feel positive going into it, but that you can still have a positive experience going out of it. You can know you made/are making a good decision that is right for your family and most importantly for you. And fuck whatever anyone else says.