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Tuesday, May 5, 2009

You came to me for help. You’re 16, just a kid, and you have a kid. You didn’t realize how far along you were. You needed money and fast. For weeks I told you to find more money. I couldn’t find you all that you were missing. You got money from your mom’s welfare check, and I guess you found some more here and there, you got money from a fund, but I told you to find more. I know it’s hard, and I know you don’t have a job. Find a babysitting job or borrow some more money somewhere. I told you that you needed too much money for me to call any funds. They need you to be closer before they can earmark what little money they have.

Another week went by and your price went up, then another, then another. Finally, you couldn’t wait any longer. You’d had an ultrasound already, but at this stage in your pregnancy, ultrasounds can vary week-to-week. You really had to get seen now or you wouldn’t be able to get seen at all. Then the local fund finally opened again, and you got some more money from them. I decided to call those funds, even though you still weren’t close enough. What else could I do?

Damn. One is closed for the week, but I got through to the other one, and they said they would give you some money. We were able to work it out that whatever you happened to be missing would be figured out. Finally, after weeks of you calling over and over, you would get seen.

That day came; you had your ultrasound again. You’re too far. The doctor can’t see you. I was nervous. I was worried about this. What did I do? Did I fail you? Should I have tried harder? You were given your options and resources. There are other clinics you could go to, that will go further. You know, and I know that it won’t happen though. You won’t be able to get to those other clinics.

I know that women all over the world, every day give birth. You have done it before, and you can do it again. But you’re 16, just a kid, and you have a kid. Now you’ll have another.


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