One in three (but not me!)

People talk to me about abortion, theirs and others. They talk to me because they know I am a “safe space” of sorts, and you, my dear abortioneers reader can relate, right? We are the people who friends, family, family friends, and strangers on the street confide in about their friend’s abortion, their sister’s abortion, their mother’s abortion, THEIR abortion.

I meet people, usually men, who say they don’t know anyone who has had an abortion. And I always reply, “oh yes, you definitely do, they just haven’t told you”. And then, I meet the women who are always willing to divulge their own abortion story, or their birth control experiences, or who seek advice on reproductive health topics. In fact, one of my favorite get-to-know-you topics is what kind of birth control someone is on (for those engaged in the type of sex that could lead to a pregnancy of course).

We in abortion land often quote the “1 in 3 by age 45 will have an abortion” statistic. We parade it around—our banner of pride that demonstrates the ubiquitous nature of abortion. This statistic can be debated over and over, and it will vary by race, class, sexuality, etc…but whether it’s 1 in 10 or 1 in 2 it’s still a lot of fucking people. And we all know a lot of fucking people right? So we all know someone who has had an abortion. But for most people they clearly would never know it.

Someone I work with sent an email out at work today stating that he was leaving early for an emergency dental appointment. I dream of the day when I get a similar email from a coworker leaving early for an abortion. Because I know it’s happening.

Do people talk to you about their abortion? Do you talk to people about yours?