More things I would rather do than be forced to carry an unwanted pregnancy to term

Continued from my previous post.

26. Eat a lot of beans.
27. Wrestle with a seasick crocodile.
28. Pronounce "R" like "W" for the rest of my life.
29. Have my arm crushed against the wall of a crevasse in the mountains by a huge boulder and have to amputate it with a dull knife.
30. Sit next to John McCain during the SOTU address.
31. Be surrounded by attack dogs wearing Milkbone underwear.
32. Walk everywhere on my knees.
33. Have a nipple ring ripped out of my nipple by snagging on a bath towel.
34. Run away from lava in swim fins.
35. Transfer sand from one place to another using tweezers.
36. Be a meth-addicted former child actor.
37. Have recurring night terrors in which I am pursued by demon zombie robots.
38. Be pursued by demon zombie robots.
39. Have to watch Nicholas Cage movies for the rest of my life.
40. Have my face sucked off by a giant squid.
41. Have my teeth knocked out by Mel Gibson
42. Have my toenails grow back 3x longer with every clip.
43. Downhill ski the mountains of Mordor.
44. Take a shower in garbage water.
45. Use a cheese grater for a loofa.
46. Write lyrics for Ke$ha.
47. Take voice lessons from Bobcat Goldthwait.
48. Be Carrot Top on "Kick a Ginger Day".
49. Swim naked in the Arctic Ocean.
50. HAVE AN ABORTION.

Happy weekend, y'all!