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Wednesday, May 4, 2011

One chilly Spring morning, our clinic was visited by a new anti. Amidst the old men in ill-fitting trousers and dowdy women in scrunchies and Keds was a peppy young lady with bleached hair, heavy makeup, tight jeans and trendy flats, and a perky bust. She was the proverbial Sexy Anti.

The Sexy Anti is one of my favorite antis, mostly because her youth and radiance belies the antiquated philosophy on which she bases her life's mission. Quite the conundrum. But on top of that, she is forced to defend her sexiness on some obscure/invented religious principle, lest some stranger consider her a run-of-the-mill, dime-a-dozen, sex-having-pregnant-getting-abortion-service-procuring-baby-mama-drama ho.

Sexy Anti (SA) spoke to a woman whose daughter was in the clinic having her procedure. The woman became exasperated, because her daughter's baby was gravely ill and wouldn't survive to gestation. She had to terminate or deliver a stillborn, and the mother was furious that SA would judge them; she had no idea why people were at the clinic that day, and had no right to judge. Especially since, as the mother put it:

"You can't tell me that you don't have a man!"

"I don't, actually."

"Well I know you're not a virgin."

"I am, actually."

"Listen, nobody wears eyeliner at 9am on a Saturday to protest at an abortion clinic so I know you're lookin good for somebody."

More words were exchanged about the merits of looking hot for no reason. SA was adamant that she neither had a man, nor had sex with them, nor wanted to impress them with her looks, when the mother came back with:

"You're Jezebel!"

Jezebel, that scintillating sinner. She was known for much more important things, like generally being a strong woman, but in recent times has become a household name to represent the sluts of the world. SA was not pleased.

"Now you're judging me!"

"Yeah, WELL AT LEAST I ADMIT IT!"

Now, I generally don't use biblical references to offend people (atheist here), but this one tickled me. A) I was kind of wondering why SA got all gussied up for protesting, and B) it really begs the question: what's up with the Sexy Anti? Does she not deserve to be judged for being all sexified if she's going to judge women for seeking abortion care?


Jezebel is not the first SA at our clinic. There were actually two more that day who came out in pencil skirts and high heels, side-swept bangs and all, standing next to the dowdy protesters but kind of keeping a distance. A former anti used to harass our fat and fugly escorts by telling us that she used to be fat and fugly too but then she found Jesus and he made her hot in five days and it's now her god-given duty to stay hot for men and we could be hot too if only we prayed and we should even walk up and down the sidewalk with her to the beat of "JE-SUS, JE-SUS" so we can burn some calories and if you move your arms with your legs it burns even more. And ours is not the only clinic with SAs. I've talked to lots of other escorts who deal with them too.

So, what's the deal? Is it simply a matter of better marketing of the anti cause, such that younger and hipper people are joining? Or does Christianity really mandate that women be sexy? I thought vanity was a sin but who am I. I suspect it's partly the former; SA was also very vocal about her work with Ron Paul, who managed to get a surprising amount of support from the young people I know. I really hope this is the case. I just love to hate the Sexy Anti.


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